By Dave Wine, President & CEO
In an earlier mindfulness communication I shared that I would write more about “letting go” which is also tied very closely to forgiveness. Probably the most important area we can ‘let go’ is our need to change everything and everybody, even those things we can’t possible change! We seem to have a particularly hard time of letting go of the need to change others whether it be our parents, children, spouse, co-workers, or others.
It is very important to understand the difference between influence and control. We can influence others. We can’t change them, however. Only we can change ourselves. Our spouse, co-workers and others can certainly influence us and we can influence them. The owner of change, however, is each person and if someone doesn’t want to change, nothing we do can change that! Indeed, the harder we try to change someone, the more likely they will not! We spend inordinate amounts of energy trying to do the impossible!
So a huge step towards peace is to let go of wanting to control others and wanting to change others. We are rowing upstream. Instead “flow with current” which means focusing first on ourselves, the only person we can change. As we become more compassionate, affirming, loving, and helpful our influence with others grows but remember the difference between influence and control/change.
Oh if I could only learn the lessons I teach!
David is the President and CEO of the MAX enterprise, having served in that capacity since its formation in 2001. He has forty plus years of leadership experience in the business and faith-based worlds, being an ordained minister, having been elected to the highest position in his denomination, and receiving numerous awards and recognition for his leadership in the insurance industry. He currently serves on numerous boards in the church and insurance sectors. His hobbies include hiking, biking, skiing and snowshoeing as well as being an avid reader. David and his wife, Sharon, have three daughters, a son, and five grandchildren.