MAX Mindfulness – Page 8

MAX Mindfulness: The Past is Not Here Now!

by Dave Wine, President & CEO

One of the great benefits of using mindfulness is to release ourselves of the past. When we live mindlessly, so many of our thoughts, perceptions and reflections are rooted in our past. The past is gone and we only have the present moment. The future is not yet here. Mindfulness helps us stay rooted in our present rather than being sabotaged by our mind’s propensity to find blame and regrets in the past. Watch your mind and just see how often this occurs for you. Some examples that you might consider:

Many of our judgments on people we meet now are rooted in past relationships. He/She reminds me of ______. He/She is just like so and so. She/He looks like ______. They remind me of _________. Etc. We seldom meet anyone new without making some type of comparison with someone in our past. It takes mindful effort to center only on this person now!
A painful incident or event in the past continues to affect our present (and therefore our future). We might have been hurt or rejected at some point in our past. That event, if we are not mindful, can continue to affect us now through our perceptions and mistrust of the present – people and events. Yet the past has no ability to do that unless we allow it to. It is mindfully up to us.
We perceive a current person or situation as “just like that past _______”. It is doubtful a present person or situation is ‘just like the past’ and our context of putting that past into our present is unfair to any current situation or person.
We are moving through our day just fine when suddenly we realize we are depressed or disturbed in some way. Why? Looking closely we realize a thought entered our mind from the past that filled us with regret or feelings of inadequacy that is affecting our mood now.

If you pay close attention you will find that most negative mindsets come from thoughts from our past (or fear of the future), seldom is it the present, and even it if occurs in the present, it is often due to thoughts and comparisons to our past. That is why mindfulness is so important and can be so helpful to us in focusing on now – the present. It isn’t easy stuff to let go of the past and it takes focused thought (mindful thought) to stay in the present.

David Wine

David is the President and CEO of the MAX enterprise, having served in that capacity since its formation in 2001. He has forty plus years of leadership experience in the business and faith-based worlds, being an ordained minister, having been elected to the highest position in his denomination, and receiving numerous awards and recognition for his leadership in the insurance industry. He currently serves on numerous boards in the church and insurance sectors. His hobbies include hiking, biking, skiing and snowshoeing as well as being an avid reader. David and his wife, Sharon, have three daughters, a son, and four grandchildren.

MAX Mindfulness: Mindful Reactions

By Dave Wine, President & CEO

Although actually we have ‘one’ mind, the way our minds work we have at least two reactive types of mind. There is the reptilian part of our brains, often called simply the ego (not to be confused with egotistical feelings). And there is the more developed, ‘higher’ emotional state of the brain often called the Id or Super-ego depending on what psychology book you read. What all of these ‘parts’ are called is not important but here is what is important!

Our ego part of the brain – the kind that is created to keep us out of danger and to react quickly- does just that. It reacts. It is the first response to any situation, anybody, any issue. We could say it always speaks first! And I might add, quite quickly and often quite loudly! So if something or someone upsets us, our ego part of the brain reacts very quickly. We have immediate reactions, emotions, and they are usually dominated by negative feelings and thoughts or a need to do something quickly to restore balance.

Here’s where mindfulness comes in. The more evolved, higher part of the brain, and yes, I would say “spiritual” – the part that connects with God – speaks last! That’s why, if confronted with situations and people that ‘yank our chain’, if we take time to give space to our feelings and our need to react, we often make much better decisions because we allow that other part of our mind, the part that is less reactive, to take more control. So meditation, prayer, quiet time, reflection time become so very important to us in our ability to make quality decisions, restore balance before reacting, and allow us to meet people and situations with more grace and higher emotional intelligence. That’s why as kids we were often admonished to count to ten before reacting. It can be as simple as that!

David Wine

MAX Mindfulness: Awareness While Driving

By Dave Wine, President & CEO

We hear a lot about the causes of accidents while driving. And while intoxication, medications, lack of sleep, mobile phones, etc. are all very large reasons for accidents, the greatest reason of all, and it ties in to the others, is lack of attention. Or, we could say, lack of mindfulness. So, since we all drive a lot, here’s a few things you could do to increase your own awareness while driving:

As you get into your car, take three deep breaths and say to yourself, “now, I am driving”. And you can strengthen your mindful life by doing the same thing when you arrive at your destination – another three deep breaths and an affirmation of what you are going to do now.
Do the same breathing at any stop sign or stop light and look around and center on where you are. Oftentimes I have driven someplace and don’t even remember the route I took – kind of frightening!
You can literally bless other drivers wishing them wellness and happiness. Remember as we do it to others, we do it to ourselves. I have found my bad moods (to say nothing of my driving safety) to be vastly improved when I do this. When I am at my best, I also try and smile at other driver’s impatience and wish them well. And that improves my own health rather than ‘competing’ with other drivers or letting them irritate me.
Look around and concentrate on what is happening, what you are seeing, what is going by you. That develops awareness. Just noticing is a powerful way to increase our brain’s attentiveness and literally transforms the neurons.

Many times it is easy to tell ourselves ‘we don’t have time’ to practice awareness and mindfulness. Most of us drive to and from work and even those of us who work from home drive many miles in a normal week. Not only do we increase our (and others’) safety by practicing in the car, we can change our brains!

David Wine

MAX Mindfulness: Stay out of BED!

by Dave Wine, President & CEO

Mindfulness can be practiced in a lot of different ways. Besides specific breathing, focusing, listening and other similar exercises, mindfulness can be practiced through focusing on a thought or a sentence or a quote and just resonating with that for a period of time. Let me share one with you today:

BED: as in, Stay out of BED! What, Dave, is that all about? Well, in this case, BED, stands for three other words:

Blame
Excuse
Denial

These three words form most of the ways we skirt around self-responsibility and mindfulness is really one of the most powerful ways we can stay responsible to and with ourselves. By blaming others (the opposite of not taking responsibility for ourselves); by excusing ourselves (again not taking responsibility) or using denial (not my fault – something or someone else is responsible!), we create a context that leads to projecting onto others and other things the reason we are who we are or do what we do. We give up our personal power when we do that.

So this simple mindful exercise is taking a thought we can easily remember – Stay out of BED!- and then taking time to pause and reflect on ways we may be staying in BED in our lives. The awareness that comes with that reflection can then help us catch ourselves when we mistakenly blame others, excuse ourselves, or deny that we were responsible. And remember – always do this with a forgiving, loving, affirming attitude toward yourself! We all do this at times – it is not about perfection – it is about improvement and using mindfulness as a tool to enable this greater awareness of ourselves.

David Wine

MAX Mindfulness: What Am I Thinking Now?

by Dave Wine, President & CEO

There is one thing – and one thing ONLY – that we have the ability to control and that is our mind, our thoughts. That is why I believe practicing mindfulness is so important and can help us in every aspect of our lives. One of the easiest things to do is simply to put a note on our desks, computer screen, a string around our finger, – something to remind us to take time often throughout each day simply to ask:

What Am I Thinking Now?

As you notice what you are thinking, you can then decide whether you want to change that thought(s). I am simply amazed (a positive way to think about this) to find that so many of my thoughts are judging, analyzing, fretting, anxious, etc. But most of the time I am holding those thoughts subconsciously and not paying attention to them. Then I wonder why I’m not joyous and free and happy! When I pause often throughout the day to note, What Am I Thinking Now?, I can recognize my thoughts and then choose different thoughts. I can express thanks, gratitude, look around and see all that is right and good, commune with God/Spirit, feel the sense of the wonderful team I get to work with at MAX, etc. And my attitude, demeanor, and spirit changes, too! Really mindfulness is simply paying attention to creating the thoughts and communion we most want to have in our lives – the one thing we can control in an uncontrollable world.

The easiest and the hardest thing to do!!

David Wine